"California Congressman Duke Cunningham resigned from office after admitting he broke the law by taking $2.4 million dollars in bribes. It's kind of ironic. The only time you can really be sure that a politician is telling the truth is when he's admitting that he's a crook." "In his speech President Bush said we need to rebuild Iraq, provide the people with jobs, and give them hope. If it works there maybe we'll try it in New Orleans." — Jay Leno