Kerry, the Monotone Moose of American Politics

Looks like not everyone who hates Bush likes Kerry. Take John Chuckman, for example:

....I recognize that Kerry needs all the advertising and marketing he can get. Every niche counts for one of the most uninspiring candidates in memory, although competition for the distinction of "most uninspiring" is tight in America. The nation's political system seems capable only of advancing con men, bumblers, and paste-board cutouts anymore, although, occasionally, as in the case of the late Great Communicator, a single man combines all three identities. A network of powerful interests, much like rivers and tributaries running together to form one roaring cataract, sweeps away any candidate in a major party who might actually stand for something other than the imperial ethos. God knows Kerry never has represented much of substance. Efforts to sell him are likely wasted. Ask any professional marketer whether he or she thinks Bud Lite, even with the best marketing effort, can outsell Bud. If there's a better description of John Kerry than "Bush Lite," it eludes me. Kerry, the boring, monotone moose of American politics, has hung up his set of Senate-fundraising cummerbunds - or at least restricted photographers access to the galas when he still hitches them up - in favor of casual plaid shirts. Well, he isn't completely consistent about the plaid shirts: it's a matter of which group he's addressing whether he wants to suggest being a regular guy or society swell. When he does wear the plaid - always immaculately pressed to make sure no one mistakes him for someone who actually works for a living - there is more than a passing nod to millionaire, perpetual candidate, Lamar Alexander, who made a hobby of running for the Republican nomination sporting custom-made red lumberjack shirts. People in struggling or oppressed lands who dream of being able to vote freely will be distressed to learn that America squanders her national elections on such costumed silliness, but it really cannot be otherwise when candidates have almost nothing to say....

We Progressives are still waiting for the real John Kerry to appear on stage so that we can finally know if we're totally wasting our votes in November or actually trying to elect someone of substance.