Veteran's Day

A touch of Americana this Veteran's Day. My Mother, Son and I went to visit my Father's gravestone at the National Memorial Cemetery Of Arizona. Flags lined the entry way along with Saguaros and Palo Verde. Boy scouts were doing volunteer work cleaning, raking and picking up trash. An old Navy Veteran asked me, "Where do I look for my Buddies grave markers?", so I pointed him in the right direction. Harley riders coming and showing their respect to their family members. Seeing all the weeping men, women and children for every Veteran laid to rest; it was an honor to see the respect shown.

Echo Park

This song came out during the Vietnam War. I was way too young to appreciate its deeper meaning, a tribute to forgotten veterans and those whose lives were forever changed by the loss of those young Americans maimed and killed as a result of our nation's incessant imperialistic drive. These days our government, more than ever, entices our young to be all they can be, but fails to tell them that support, at the other end of their military career, will be worse than ever. Considering how we've most recently coerced and fooled our young into going to Iraq and now Afghanistan for no GOOD reasons, I think this song is even more appropriate today.

OUR YOUNG CANNOT SUSTAIN THESE DEPLOYMENTS!!

"At least 128 U.S. soldiers killed themselves last year... Through April, (2009) 91 soldiers had committed suicide."

15 months after Iraq bloodbath, young veteran takes his life On March 7, 2007, Army Spc. Trevor Hogue was inside his barracks in Baghdad, describing his morning on the battlefield. "I saw things today that I think will mess me up for life," Hogue typed to his mother, Donna, as she sat at her computer thousands of miles away from Iraq, in Granite Bay. That day the young soldier, whose assignment included driving a Humvee through perhaps the most dangerous ZIP code on the globe, saw his sergeant blown to pieces. He saw the bodies of half of the men in his platoon torn apart. Heads were cut off and limbs severed. It happened 30 yards in front of him, and he had never been so afraid, he told his mom. "My arms are around you," Donna Hogue wrote. "You'll be alright." But Hogue never really recovered. Last week, he committed suicide by hanging himself in the backyard of his childhood home. He was 24 years old. According to the Army, soldiers are killing themselves at the highest rate in nearly three decades, surpassing the civilian suicide rate for the first time since the Vietnam War. At least 128 U.S. soldiers killed themselves last year, a number that has risen four years in a row. The death toll could be even higher this year. Through April, 91 soldiers had committed suicide. Hogue's death, because it occurred after he was discharged, is not included in those statistics. But his friends and loved ones believe he was a casualty of war as much as any soldier on active duty. "You think that they are safe when they get back home," Donna Hogue said, tearfully reading printed messages that she and her son exchanged while he was at war. "They're not. The reality of the things that they experienced continues to haunt them."

I don't know what to say... As a disabled Veteran who suffers from PTSD and Bi-Polar disorder, everyday is a struggle. My condolences to the family of Trevor Hogue and all the other military families who have lost loved ones to suicide. I truly believe they were killed on the battlefield... they just didn't know it yet.

I live today with similiar questions... I have to constantly remind myself there are no easy answers but viable alternatives. I will take my medicine daily, give myself a chance and call a V.A. Doctor if I need help. I have a family who loves me and I will not hurt their feelings.

"Memorandum for Record: 05-29-2008"

To: The Office of the President of the United States From: Freeman, Milo D., OIF Sept. '06 - Dec. '07 RE: Detainee Abuse Photos MESSAGE FOLLOWS Mr. President, My name is "Milo Freeman." I am a proud supporter of your election, and an Iraq War veteran. I served in support of OIF from September of 2006 to December of 2007. I am proud to call myself a veteran. I am not, however, proud of the ways which my country has chose to view or exploit my service in the past. While proud of my former occupation, it became clear to me very quickly that our presence in Iraq was in fact a harm to the people of that country. I believe that our presence there caused a great deal of suffering to the people of Iraq, and only served to damage our standing in the world. When I first heard that you were running for President, I eagerly supported your campaign. The night of your election was one of the proudest of my life, because, as a man of 26 years, yours was the first presidency in whose making I had truly had a hand. I have applauded many of your sweeping accomplishments since taking office. I applaud your decisive actions on the economy, and have applauded your efforts to undo the damage of the last eight years. But there is one policy of which I must vehemently disapprove: the decision not to make public ALL of the photographs depicting detainee abuse by US forces. I know that my comrades serve bravely every day in the service of our country. I know that their service is noble, because once it was mine. But I also believe that we are frail, that we are human, and that without the proper guidance we can fail to live up to the values that our Constitution espouses. I believe that being American does not render us incapable of sin. And in these photos, sir, I believe that we have committed many grave sins, indeed. I understand your office's desire not to engage in partisan witch-hunting. I understand that our nation faces many challenges, and simply finding scapegoats for the recent past will solve nothing. But I also believe that we, as Americans, must LOOK our sins in the face. We must know that we have done wrong, so that we can TRULY begin to heal the wounds we have inflicted. Without this catharsis, sir, there can be no justice; there can be no healing. I understand that the photos you have chosen not to release contain images which may incite backlash against the forces responsible. I understand that they contain images which may be upsetting to the American public. My response: good. After an era which was so marked by double standards of justice, my conscience cannot abide the sufferings depicted in these images. I cannot proudly call myself an American, a veteran, while knowing that my service contributed to this shame. It is not merely wrong, sir, it is vile. It is abomination. We allowed ourselves to forget our most basic values, and in so doing we are ALL the less for our silence. Even you, Mr. President. When American forces stormed into Germany in 1945, they discovered horrors beyond belief. They saw how German soldiers had allowed themselves to be co-opted, how German citizens had willingly blinded themselves to the truth. And when they looked upon those crematories, those stacks of corpses piled like cordwood, they did the only thing they felt was right: They rounded up the surviving soldiers, and forced them to bury the dead. They rounded up the villagers, and forced them to confront the hideousness of their own sins. For not all sins are acts of comission, as you well know. In hiding the truth from the public, we are committing sins of OMISSION. If yours is the Administration that I believed it to be, then you can maintain no silence in this. The truth, however ugly, must be made known. If the rumors are true--that the photos you have suppressed not only depict torture and humiliation, but even murder and rape--then we are bound, as Americans, to acknowledge our crimes. Without truth, there can be no healing. I implore you, Mr. President. Serve Justice. Serve Truth. Release these photos. // Freeman, Milo D. (SPC), US Army, 2004-2008 MESSAGE ENDS

Never In Doubt

It's unfortunate that Veterans, especially Disabled Veterans, will be stigmatized but really, this was never in doubt.

The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has released a report titled: Rightwing Extremism: Current Economic and Political Climate Fueling Resurgence in Radicalization and Recruitment. The report was prepared by the Extremism and Radicalization Branch, Homeland Environment Threat Analysis Division and coordinated with the FBI There have been a number of reports similar to this in the past. But, this report really focuses on the current economic crisis and how it, along with political strife, can aid the recruitment efforts of extremist organizations. I'll let you read it and decide how much rings true. However, the most disturbing part of the report is the mention of veterans and how they are portrayed. Read below: (U) Disgruntled Military Veterans (U//FOUO) DHS/I&A assesses that rightwing extremists will attempt to recruit and radicalize returning veterans in order to exploit their skills and knowledge derived from military training and combat. These skills and knowledge have the potential to boost the capabilities of extremists—including lone wolves or small terrorist cells—to carry out violence. The willingness of a small percentage of military personnel to join extremist groups during the 1990s because they were disgruntled, disillusioned, or suffering from the psychological effects of war is being replicated today. — (U) After Operation Desert Shield/Storm in 1990-1991, some returning military veterans—including Timothy McVeigh—joined or associated with rightwing extremist groups. — (U) A prominent civil rights organization reported in 2006 that “large numbers of potentially violent neo-Nazis, skinheads, and other white supremacists are now learning the art of warfare in the [U.S.] armed forces.” — (U//LES) The FBI noted in a 2008 report on the white supremacist movement that some returning military veterans from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have joined extremist groups. Of particular note is the mention of veterans as "disgruntled, disillusioned, or suffering from the psychological effects of war." This thinly-veiled reference to PTSD does nothing to paint veterans in a good light... in the minds of many. It just reinforces the "wacko warrior" image veterans have fought so long to dispel. -- Larry Scott at VA Watchdog dot Org

Update: Huffington Post claims that Michelle Malkin and redstate are coming unglued over this Homeland Security report. I hope this gets pushed out in the open. Perhaps we can have a national discussion on it. Possibly stop the vitriol from the likes of FAUX News, Glenn Beck and Ru$h Limbaugh, however, I doubt it will stop people from hating and the sick ones from killing.

Think Progress has more.

From Crooks and Liars:

Malkin's headline wails:

"The Obama DHS Hit Job on Conservatives Is Real"

So, I have a question for Malkin: Are you saying that mainstream conservatives are now right-wing extremists?

Because, you know, the report -- which in fact is perfectly accurate in every jot and tittle -- couldn't be more clear. It carefully delineates that the subject of its report is "rightwing extremists," "domestic rightwing terrorist and extremist groups," "terrorist groups or lone wolf extremists capable of carrying out violent attacks," "white supremacists," and similar very real threats described in similar language.

Nothing about conservatives. The word never appears in the report.

"This Veterans Day, U.S. Soldiers Say 'Stop the War'"

An open letter from war resisters calls for an end to the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. On this day, Veteran's Day, we would like to express to the American public why we, veterans of the Global War on Terror, have chosen to refuse orders to reactivate into military service. We are direct witnesses to the horrors of this war, having experienced its atrocities at their source, and we have decided that we can no longer carry out these illegal and immoral policies. We believe that veterans and active-duty GIs are in a key position to stop illegal and unjust war, and we are inspired by the resistance of troops who stood against the war in Vietnam. One of the preeminent reasons for the U.S. withdrawal from Vietnam was increasing dissent among the active-duty troops stationed abroad and at home. By the end of the war, there were entire units refusing to participate in combat, many going as far as outright mutiny. The United States learned a lesson from the Vietnam War: that it is unlikely, except in the event of self-defense, that regular civilians will execute the life-threatening orders that are given to them by military authority. The solution of policy makers was to create an all-volunteer force that negated the need for a draft. This translates into a mercenary force composed of America's disadvantaged: a sector of the U.S. demographic that is particularly susceptible to military recruitment for lack of other options and finding themselves with deployment orders again and again. To compensate for huge pitfalls in recruitment since the invasion of Iraq, the military has resorted to recalling former service members. This policy is known as "involuntary activation" and utilizes deactivated service members who still have time on their contracts in the Individual Ready Reserves (IRR) to fill shortcomings in specific job specialties. The abuse and misuse of this policy has escalated under the current administration to such a degree that it can now only be viewed as a "backdoor draft" that targets the same disadvantaged individuals the military sought out for enlistment, namely because they are better at not questioning orders. However, we have now begun to question these orders. We are veterans of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and members of the IRR who have refused or will refuse any activation orders that would lead to us serving an unjust and imperial U.S. foreign policy. It is a prevailing notion that this refusal is unpatriotic, but we consider our actions the only choice. Not only did the U.S. invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan do great harm to the people of those countries, but it undermined the ostensible goal with which the wars were begun: Instead of stopping terrorism, it has proliferated terrorism, an expectation that was predicted well before the war started. By refusing activation, we are refusing to participate in wars that serve the purposes of furthering the careers of politicians and high-ranking officers. We openly support other IRR members who follow in these footsteps. The military is a force that rules through fear of retribution for disobeying its will. In reality, more than a third of IRRs simply refuse to report to duty. Most of the rest report out of fear that the military will change their discharge status or prosecute them for desertion, but up to this point, prosecution has been rare. Members of the IRR are not under the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ), and thus far, the military has had a practice of not prosecuting them with criminal charges unless they report in some form or function to activate. Very few willingly volunteer for activation. There can be no promise that President-Elect Barack Obama will stop the stressful and unfair techniques of back-to-back deployments, "stop-loss" or the "backdoor draft" that are damaging the psychology of veterans in irreparable ways. Nor that he will stop encouraging global violence by unlawful uses of force. It is in this vein that we turn to organizations like Courage to Resist, Iraq Veterans Against the War and many other large-scale and grassroots organizations to solicit change in a largely unrepresentative democracy, and to allow the voices of the people to ring through the halls of the Capital. Benjamin Lewis, former Marine Corps mortarman, Iraq veteran, IRR recall resister, peace activist Brandon Neely, former U.S. Army Military police officer, Iraq veteran, IRR recall refuser.-- Benjamin Lewis and Brandon Neely

Take that McRube!

Johnathan Martin at Politico got to the bottom of Obama not checking in on the injured troops at Ramstein AFB, Germany.

VoteVets, the pro-Democrat group of retired military personnel, counters McCain's Black Hawk down statement with some outrage from Col. Katherine Scheirman (Ret.), the retired Chief of Medical Operations for United States Air Force in Europe Headquarters at Ramstein Air Force Base in Germany: "John McCain's new ad is dishonest and shameful, and I say that as the former Chief of Medical Operations. Senators Hagel and Reed confirmed to Bob Schieffer yesterday that Senator Obama visited the Combat Support Hospital in Baghdad as a part of their CODEL, with no media present. "In Germany, Senator Obama made the right decision to respect wounded troops, and the doctors and nurses doing crucial and time-sensitive work, by not making a visit that was characterized as a campaign event by the Pentagon. Senator Obama should be thanked for putting our military above politics. And, I would hope that John McCain would think in those same terms, the next time he is put in a similar situation. "Senator Obama has voted for the troops when John McCain has not, most recently on the new GI Bill. I am happy that Senator Obama puts the welfare of our troops above politics." Also, it's notable that Obama's camp, quick to respond to most every charge and ever-conscious of not repeating the mistakes of Kerry, has yet to go on the air with a spot pushing back against McCain's charge on the troop visit. Apparently, they won't unless McCain puts real money behind his spot and goes beyond just gaming it for earned media.

Once again, Obama doesn't have to lower himself to his opponents level. Will it work through November?

I Used to Respect Canada

Robin Long became the first U.S. war resister since the Vietnam War forced to leave Canada and turned over to the U.S. military. Even though on June 3rd 2008 Canada's House of Commons voted in favor "to allow conscientious objectors" to "remain in Canada".

Let's add Canada's Prime Minister Stephen Harper to the long list of bu$h lapdogs.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper may be set on embracing George Bush and his occupation of Iraq, but on Tuesday, June 3, the Canadian members of Parliament extended their embrace to the war resisters. By a vote of 137-110, the House of Commons called on the Canadian government to “immediately implement a program to allow conscientious objectors and their immediate family members… to apply for permanent resident status and remain in Canada.” The motion also called on the government to “immediately cease any removal or deportation actions against such individuals.” All the opposition parties — Liberal Party, the New Democratic Party, and the Bloc Quebecois — came together to reject the policy of the ruling Conservative Party. The motion, however, is non-binding and the Conservative government of Prime Minister Stephen Harper may choose to ignore it.

There are still many "war resisters" trying legally to remain in Canada and stay out of a war they view as unjust. However, with the deportation and jailing of Robin Long it does not look good for these soldiers who wanted to take a legal avenue. I hope his penalty is light.

There is blog up called Courage to Resist. Some of these soldiers have been to Iraq and Afghanistan, some are in Canada, others are awaiting trials in the U.S. They all have one thing in common... they are sick of war, fighting and the military. They are a diverse group; religious reasons, female soldiers who have been threatened, sufferers of PTSD, and others who have been there, seen the inhuman treatment of other human beings.

I hope Long tells every prospective troop who wants to sign up to be sure of what they are getting into. Once they sign the contract, give their word... it's too late to say, "Oops, my bad."

When I enlisted, I never relized it would end up being the single biggest decision of my entire life. I figured a few years serving during a time of peace, get some college money, get out in good health, I'd be set for life. It does work for some... if it all goes according to plan. To enter during a time of war and expect all things to be rosy is idealistic to say the least.

These soldiers have my utmost respect. Canada not so much.

Memorial Day by Pvt. Keepout

Pvt. Keepout is one of the better commenter's at the Left Coaster.

Many soldiers will come home with a hole where faith in government integrity was ripped out by craven cynical thieves and arrogant glycerine fools. Scar tissue will grow over it and new experience will crowd it aside, but the deep fundamental betrayal of American values personally felt by these profoundly patriotic men and women will never be redressed or even acknowleged by their culture, family, friends and lovers. They will always stand a bit apart from the conventional celebration, commerce and community that denies their wound through ridicule and indifference. They will never quite fit in anywhere ever again. They will be America's most valuable citizens because they'll never stop asking, "why?" - Pvt. Keepout, May 26, 2007

Another Visit to the V.A. Hospital

I definitely feel a need to help disabled Veterans... I started yesterday.

At the beginning of February I wrote about my visit to the V.A. clinic.

The Waiting Room

Today, I was attending my regular, every 3 month psychiatric appointment. In the waiting room at the Veteran's Administration Clinic was a young man, age 25 - 30. He had an ashen, pale look on his face and was sitting with both his parents. I couldn't help but make eye contact with this young, troubled Veteran. Somehow, his soul seemed fragile, fractured if you will, by the horrors he'd seen. He glanced at me, I looked at him... I could see fear, mistrust, doubt, apprehension, and the dread in his eyes. He looked away and down, as if mortified. Tears were welling up in his eyes. By this time, I was starting to get a big lump in my throat. Remembering the confusion I first felt when I was going through the "VA mental healthcare system". Finally, he glanced back up... I nodded to him... gave him a clenched fist... a subtle, positive sign, as if to say... please, stay strong, hang in there... your not alone. By this time I had tears welling in my eyes. He leaned back and looked up toward the ceiling wiping a tear away.

Introspectively, I was yearning to reach out to him. I wanted to tell him he's in the right place... doing the right thing... well on his way to some sort of recovery. I wish I could have communicated that seeking help is the first, huge, step in getting better. Let him know that his mind will never be 100% or be the person he once was, but it's his heart that matters. Explain to him, he's lucky he has two wonderful parents who love and care for him... something I never appreciated.

My wish was to give him a big bear hug. God, the stories I could tell this young man of my personal battles with the VA. Of course, he certainly didn't need some 50 year old disabled Veteran confessing his plight of chronic back and shoulder pain. In addition to his own light case of PTSD. Actually, I was thinking more of providing my experience to help guide him through the red tape of the VA. And be there for him if he ever needed someone to talk to.
Unfortunately, I was summoned suddenly for my appointment... I bounced up with intensity and a slight smile on my face for being called.

When I left my appointment... driving home... I started to reflect on my start with the "VA mental health system"... my anger grew. I had shed tears exactly like this young man. I remembered the shame I felt... of feeling ashamed. Why the fuck should I be embarrassed about anything... I didn't ask for these emotions! The Army tried its best to desensitized my feelings, dehumanize me. A pure and simple mind fuck. The Army wanted me to feel disgraced... let me carry around the stigma of not being able to handle the sights and sounds of war. I found out, most people can't. I'm not their little automaton, emotionally or physically. I'm on the road to recovering my passion for life... my life. No doubt, it's still a struggle. But I will cherish it with all the gusto I can muster. That's a good thing.

Damn, can I go back and talk to this young, mentally ill Veteran and tell him everything? Perhaps... he saw it in my eyes.

Yesterday, I went back for another appointment. Later in the day, I went to the downtown Carl T. Hayden V.A. Hospital for more follow up appointments. At both the clinic and the hospital it was crowded... like I've never seen it before. And I've been going to the V.A. for over 16 years.

Things were different, the best I can explain it was an overwhelming sense of urgency among the elderly disabled Veterans. Were they feeling like there might not be space available in the future? I know there will be a huge influx of new disabled Veterans coming in but I have never personally considered that I might not get seen. Are their fears warranted?

I had a 2 hour wait for X-rays yesterday. A young female Veteran got up and left, she had her 2 kids in tow. An elderly man limped out, cursing under his breath, not wanting to wait.

A wild eyed woman, came in all upset, ranting how they had lost her medical records and that they had no trace of her being seen at this hospital. She was looking around as if anyone could empathize with her, while continuing to berate the V.A. staff. I intruded and asked her to sit down... I asked if she didn't mind, could she please explain to me what happened. She was more than willing to vent.

She proceeded to explain that she was a former Marine officer, and went into detail about the lack of follow up care, frustration and insult she's been going through after her knee surgeries. Her displeasure with the V.A. was evident after 15 minutes... at the conclusion, I told her how I think things could go better next time. She listened intently... I told her to first go to record keeping, ask if they have her medical records. If they do, sign for a release of those medical records and immediately make copies, in triplicate. I mentioned they had done the same to me at the Denver V.A. Hospital but that I was always able to produce copies. In fact I told her they had lost my medical records 3 times, (or at least the office staff said they had).

I then told her if she wasn't satisfied to see the Patient Advocate. I mentioned they are designed to take complaints from disabled Veterans.

She took my words to heart and headed to the records office. She reappeared about 20 minutes later saying they had found everything and that she was getting copies right then. She was really grateful and had a huge smile on her face. When she left, the hospital staff thanked me as well for calming her down.

Damn it... it shouldn't have to be so difficult for disabled Veterans. You're already baffled dealing with a new governmental bureaucracy. You're hurting and in pain... there should be some simple answers. Instead the V.A. would rather put their heads in the sand and deny a problem exists. Will the problem go away? I think a million returning disabled Veterans will change their minds. If not... I know the million's of disabled Veterans, currently waiting impatiently for care, won't let them!

(Cross-posted at The Liberal Coalition)

Eerie Similarities

Sometimes, reading an article about someone with PTSD gives me pleasure. Is that sick to admit? To realize that I'm not alone relieves my conscience. I think back... how lonely it must have been for my father to suffer through his demons by himself. Not realizing he could have taken another route... instead of suffering in silence, without treatment, he buried his nightmares in alcohol... In some ways, it's the eerie similarities that I see in stories that make me feel better.

I quoted parts of Jesse Wendel's post at "The Group News Blog", he refers to his own and a friends PTSD so eloquently while I struggle for words:

PTSD is medically interesting. It triggers in so many ways. In my experience, those who don't live in it or around it, don't get it... I have a friend, a serious combat vet... He has his routine, how things work for him, and a good life. But don't fuck with that. New stuff gets rejected (unless he's in charge or comes up with it himself.) He always comes up with a good reason for rejecting x. But really all his rejection of everything new, is because it's a change in his routine, and changes in his routine trigger his threat reflexes. Ask him to do something, it can take months, or enormous pressure, because he doesn't take to new stuff easily. That's his triggering. The hard part is, he either doesn't know it, or doesn't grant permission to others to point this out to him when it's happening, so everyone dances around the issue, and it makes him hard to work with. I can't tolerate people coming up behind me. Touching me without my permission is a serious mistake. There are certain sights and sounds which will throw me right back... ...People who haven't had PTSD, who haven't been mentally ill in some way, who haven't had chronic pain, mostly don't grasp how real these are. How much "Command Value" they have over our biology and actions. How totally they take over, and when we are triggered to them, how little in control we are. Oh, people may mouth the words of believing. But their entire way of being is, "I could so muscle through that if it were me. You must be either lazy or faking." I even believed that myself, about mental illness... waking up night after night with nightmares, flashbacks, and worse. In spite of all that, I too, thought it was all a bunch of bullshit, till I had a series of incidents in which I ended up a chronic pain patient, suicidal, and forced to deal with all the crap from having been a medic, more or less all at the same time. I was a fool. I was wrong. And so is the Army, in a major way. The Army still treats PTSD as something to be ashamed of. Again, the Army still treats PTSD as something to be ashamed of. If you self-report, you damage your career prospects. No "real-man" or woman, no Soldier, would ever come down with combat fatigue. Only wusses, people who don't have "It", who aren't man enough or woman enough for the mission, want out. It means you're lacking something, some essential fire in your belly that people who don't get PTSD have.

Everything Jesse wrote is spot on for me. Except of course the part of someone who saw serious combat. I was involved in a bunch of small incidents in Panama. I really feel like a wuss compared to what the soldiers from Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan went and are going through. I can't imagine what my Dad went through in WWII.

It's important to note that part of my problem is generational. My father suffers from PTSD as well. He stormed the beaches of Normandy and went through the whole gamut of the European theatre. He got sent to England, had poor eyesight, the Army (later Army Air Corp) made him an electrician on the B-17 Flying Fortress. But when his number was called, like a lot of Army Air Corp men he stepped up and filled the roll of Infantryman. It's only now I comprehend why he has night terrors and thrashed around at night. I understand why he coped for so many years after the war by self medicating himself with alcohol.

To go even further back, his PTSD problems very well could have started from an earlier age. From the stories my Aunts tell, my Grandfather (whom I never met) used to inflict beatings on him. Why? I'm not really sure, our family history is a bit muddled. Perhaps it was because my father was the only male in the household. I have heard my Grandfather was a heavy drinker, even a bootlegger, (during the Depression a man had to make a buck anyway he could).

Unfortunately, the cycle of violence did not stop with him. My father brought it with him and it continued in our family. Being the youngest, I was spared the worst of the physical abuse. My oldest sister and brother were not, they got regular whippings. The sister closest to me was spared somewhat, she shut out the world, kept quiet and read books to cope. I was a witness to the drunken family violence. We all suffered verbal berating, including my mother. And when she didn't toe the line, she got whacked as well.

We ended up being the typical dysfunctional family. We had the alcoholic and the enabler. My sisters and brother assumed our roles within the family to make up for the deficiencies of parenting. Our roles were inter-changeable, the hero, the scapegoat, the lost child, and the mascot. We did what we had to... to survive, keep our sanity. I wish I had more empathy for my father then. I really didn't understand what he was going through. Why he took his anger, irritability, all his wrath of emotions out on his family... we were the closest thing to him, his comfort zone, he felt secure in showing his feelings to us. He had to be a hard guy, couldn't admit something was wrong... wouldn't seek help.

The rest of my family is ready to move on... forget, dismiss or deny that it ever happened. I guess it's convenient. I refuse for the memory be placed in oblivion. I want everyone to remember, so that it never happens again to anyone in my family. Let's be clear, I don't want to place blame... I want to deal with the problem of PTSD. I can't ignore the struggles this sickness placed on us. I want to make sure everyone gets treatment or at least learns the same coping skills as I have.

I'm not perfect, I still lose my temper... I still slip into depression... but I have the sweetest wife and son. I'm grateful they have talked to my Doctors... I'm in constant recovery. When my son comes up and hugs me, tells me, "It will be OK Dad, I love you... I know what your going through...", I melt. I think, why didn't I convey this message to my Dad... he would have appreciated it during his worst times. Unfortunately, my Dad has advanced Alzheimer's now. My greetings are met with a blank stare and wobbly handshake. He suffers in silence.

I have a message for him, "Dad, I love you, you're a 'real man'... you have nothing to be ashamed of... you're not alone... you've made mistakes, you're human, it was a mental illness... still, you're my hero, an American hero!"

Lurch

Mr. Bush explains what we've been doing in Iraq for the last five years.
h/t Jeff Huber, Pen and Sword

It's not often you can say of blogging friends, "I've met that person, we had beers, we talked about blogging and blogsites, politics, music interests, they came inside my house and met my family." I was fortunate enough to meet D.J. Moonbat 2 years back. A few weeks later, Lurch, of Main and Central stopped by. Unfortunately, Valentines Day of this year I learned that he had passed away.

I find myself going back and remembering where I first encountered Lurch. I know we first talked at Jo Fish's place, Democratic Veteran. Upon stopping by Jeff Huber's place today, I remember reading his comments there as well. I was just getting my blogging legs then, coming out from being a lurker. With the help of Jo Fish, he started Main and Central with some other Veterans. I was always amazed at how prolific he was. Story after story... sometimes, 6 in one day. I have a tough time putting out one or two pieces a week. It wasn't only how productive he was, his articles had substance. I think Lurch was the best at reporting on the lack of equipment (such as Body Armor) the troops had in Iraq. His commentary on the War of the Bridges in Iraq was simply outstanding!

I'm glad he took the time to visit. I was able to go all out because it was a weekend when he stopped by. We had a large Mexican feast in his honor. That's what we do in AZ in early summer, Bar-B-Que some marinated chicken and beef for tacos, all the trimmings, some Corona or Dos Equis all poolside, laughing and talking. He loved it. Easy going, smiling the whole time. He spoke lovingly of his late wife. That's how I'll remember him...

In short, I miss my friend Lurch... RIP. He, like Steve Gilliard, leaves a "blogging void" of which few can replace. I find myself visiting Veteran websites for a glimpse of Lurch. He would have laughed at that picure and comment of bu$h...

Crossposted at Low and Left Part Deux

"Obama Receives Endorsement of Flag Officers from Army, Navy and Air Force"

Citing his judgment and ability to lead, admirals and generals from the United States Army, Navy and Air Force that together have served under the last nine Commanders-in-Chief today announced their endorsement of Senator Barack Obama for president. In offering their endorsement, the generals and admirals recognized Obama’s judgment to oppose the war in Iraq before it began, his respect for the Constitution and rule of law, his leadership on behalf of America’s servicemen and women and his ability to conduct the diplomacy necessary to restore America’s standing in the world... As Prepared for Delivery: Remarks of Senator Barack Obama Endorsement by US Admirals and Generals Chicago History Museum March 12, 2008 It is my privilege to be joined by some of the distinguished generals and admirals supporting my campaign. They have defended the American people and stood up for American values with honor and distinction. Between them they have served nine Commanders-in-Chief, and I look forward to continuing to draw on their counsel throughout my campaign and beyond. As as a candidate for the presidency, I know that I am running to be Commander-in-Chief – to safeguard this nation's security, and to keep our sacred trust with the men and women who serve. There is no responsibility that I take more seriously. This is something that I’ve talked about throughout this campaign. Because I believe that any candidate for President must present the American people with a clear vision of how we will lead. There are real differences between the candidates, and important issues to debate – from ending the war in Iraq, to combating terrorism, to devising new strategies and new capabilities to confront 21st century threats. But recently, we’ve seen a different kind of approach. Instead of a serious, substantive debate, we’ve heard vague allusions to a “Commander-in-Chief threshold” that seems to be about nothing more than the number of years you’ve spent in Washington. This is exactly what’s wrong with the national security debate in Washington. After years of a divisive politics that uses national security as a wedge to drive us apart, how much longer do we have to wait to bring this country together to confront our common enemies? After years of being told that Democrats have to talk, act and vote like John McCain to pass some Commander-in-Chief test, how many times do we have to learn that tough talk is not a substitute for sound judgment? After years of a war in Iraq that should’ve never been authorized, how many more politicians will appeal to the American peoples’ fears instead of their hopes?... ...Finally, it is the sacred obligation of any Commander in Chief to give the men and women who have served the care and support they have earned. That is what I have tried to do on the Senate Veterans Affairs Committee – working to improve care and benefits for wounded warriors and their families, and to enhance screening and treatment for PTSD and Traumatic Brain Injury, the signature wounds of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. As President, I will ask myself every day whether I am serving our troops and veterans as well as they have served America. That means only sending them into harm’s way when we absolutely must; providing them with a clear mission and the equipment they need to do the job; standing by them when they come home; and helping them live their dreams after they leave the service. Like the men who have joined me on this stage today, my story is only possible in America. It is the story of my grandfather, who marched in Patton’s Army; and my father, who crossed the globe to be a part of the dream that my grandfather defended. An America that secures its people, and stands as a light of hope for the world. That is the America that I will defend as Commander-in-Chief, drawing on the counsel of military commanders and the courage and conviction of the American people. An America where we meet the challenges of the 21st century with sound judgment, clear plans, and a common purpose. Obama Press Office 312-819-2423 Over the course of the last year, Obama has unveiled a comprehensive national security agenda that includes detailed plans to secure America from the threat of terrorism, responsibly end the war in Iraq and renew American diplomacy to restore our standing in the world.

"Veterans not entitled to mental health care, U.S. lawyers argue"

Veterans not entitled to mental health care, U.S. lawyers argue Veterans have no legal right to specific types of medical care, the Bush administration argues in a lawsuit accusing the government of illegally denying mental health treatment to some troops returning from Iraq and Afghanistan. The arguments, filed Wednesday in federal court in San Francisco, strike at the heart of a lawsuit filed on behalf of veterans that claims the health care system for returning troops provides little recourse when the government rejects their medical claims... They said the law entitles veterans only to "medical care which the secretary (of Veterans Affairs) determines is needed, and only to the extent funds ... are available." The plaintiffs say that the department has a backlog of more than 600,000 disability claims and that 120 veterans a week commit suicide...

King George,

They have done your dirty work for you. You extended their tours, preventing them from going home when their commitment was over (stop-loss) and repeatedly sent them back for longer tours.

Damn bu$h, what a sorry SOB! Support the Troops! HELP THESE MENTALLY ILL SOLDIERS!!!

The Waiting Room

Today, I was attending my regular, every 3 month psychiatric appointment. In the waiting room at the Veteran's Administration Clinic was a young man, age 25 - 30. He had an ashen, pale look on his face and was sitting with both his parents. I couldn't help but make eye contact with this young, troubled Veteran. Somehow, his soul seemed fragile, fractured if you will, by the horrors he'd seen. He glanced at me, I looked at him... I could see fear, mistrust, doubt, apprehension, and the dread in his eyes. He looked away and down, as if mortified. Tears were welling up in his eyes. By this time, I was starting to get a big lump in my throat. Remembering the confusion I first felt when I was going through the "VA mental healthcare system". Finally, he glanced back up... I nodded to him... gave him a clenched fist... a subtle, positive sign, as if to say... please, stay strong, hang in there... your not alone. By this time I had tears welling in my eyes. He leaned back and looked up toward the ceiling wiping a tear away.

Introspectively, I was yearning to reach out to him. I wanted to tell him he's in the right place... doing the right thing... well on his way to some sort of recovery. I wish I could have communicated that seeking help is the first, huge, step in getting better. Let him know that his mind will never be 100% or be the person he once was, but it's his heart that matters. Explain to him, he's lucky he has two wonderful parents who love and care for him... something I never appreciated.

My wish was to give him a big bear hug. God, the stories I could tell this young man of my personal battles with the VA. Of course, he certainly didn't need some 50 year old disabled Veteran confessing his plight of chronic back and shoulder pain. In addition to his own light case of PTSD. Actually, I was thinking more of providing my experience to help guide him through the red tape of the VA. And be there for him if he ever needed someone to talk to.
Unfortunately, I was summoned suddenly for my appointment... I bounced up with intensity and a slight smile on my face for being called.

When I left my appointment... driving home... I started to reflect on my start with the "VA mental health system"... my anger grew. I had shed tears exactly like this young man. I remembered the shame I felt... of feeling ashamed. Why the fuck should I be embarrassed about anything... I didn't ask for these emotions! The Army tried its best to desensitized my feelings, dehumanize me. A pure and simple mind fuck. The Army wanted me to feel disgraced... let me carry around the stigma of not being able to handle the sights and sounds of war. I found out, most people can't. I'm not their little automaton, emotionally or physically. I'm on the road to recovering my passion for life... my life. No doubt, it's still a struggle. But I will cherish it with all the gusto I can muster. That's a good thing.

Damn, can I go back and talk to this young, mentally ill Veteran and tell him everything? Perhaps... he saw it in my eyes.

"New Generation Of Homeless Vets Emerges"

From Erin McClam at Huffington Post. What the "new" homeless Veterans are going through.

LEEDS, Mass. — Peter Mohan traces the path from the Iraqi battlefield to this lifeless conference room, where he sits in a kilt and a Camp Kill Yourself T-shirt and calmly describes how he became a sad cliche: a homeless veteran. There was a happy homecoming, but then an accident _ car crash, broken collarbone. And then a move east, close to his wife's new job but away from his best friends. And then self-destruction: He would gun his motorcycle to 100 mph and try to stand on the seat. He would wait for his wife to leave in the morning, draw the blinds and open up whatever bottle of booze was closest. He would pull out his gun, a .45-caliber, semiautomatic pistol. He would lovingly clean it, or just look at it and put it away. Sometimes place it in his mouth. "I don't know what to do anymore," his wife, Anna, told him one day. "You can't be here anymore." Peter Mohan never did find a steady job after he left Iraq. He lost his wife _ a judge granted their divorce this fall _ and he lost his friends and he lost his home, and now he is here, in a shelter. He is 28 years old. "People come back from war different," he offers by way of a summary. This is not a new story in America: A young veteran back from war whose struggle to rejoin society has failed, at least for the moment, fighting demons and left homeless. But it is happening to a new generation. As the war in Afghanistan plods on in its seventh year, and the war in Iraq in its fifth, a new cadre of homeless veterans is taking shape. And with it come the questions: How is it that a nation that became so familiar with the archetypal homeless, combat-addled Vietnam veteran is now watching as more homeless veterans turn up from new wars? What lessons have we not learned? Who is failing these people? Or is homelessness an unavoidable byproduct of war, of young men and women who devote themselves to serving their country and then see things no man or woman should?

PLEASE READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLE AT THE LINK ABOVE.

Why are mentally ill Veterans still being discarded to the trash heap of life? Constanly left to fend for themselves! Yes, they knew what to do in war or in a military environment but being home, after the ordeal they went through, there is no training for that. Invariably, the sick troop is expected to know what's best or where to turn for help... basically, continually told to "buck up"!

I think it's time the military starts a new mandatory program before a soldier gets out, especially a potentially mentally ill soldier, "How to transition back to civilian life!" It would be the last course a soldier takes in their military career. The Pentagon forgets that most young soldiers know nothing else but the military. They were looking at the military as a stepping stone, not being dropped off a cliff.

I know our government has not learned anything from Vietnam with regards to Veteran's care. But some caring individuals have... and it could lead to increased government awareness:

Soldier On is staffed entirely by homeless veterans. A handful who fought in Iraq or Afghanistan, usually six or seven at a time, mix with dozens from Vietnam. Its president, Jack Downing, has spent nearly four decades working with addicts, the homeless and the mentally ill. Next spring, he plans to open a limited-equity cooperative in the western Massachusetts city of Pittsfield. Formerly homeless veterans will live there, with half their rents going into individual deposit accounts. Downing is convinced that ushering homeless veterans back into homeownership is the best way out of the pattern of homelessness that has repeated itself in an endless loop, war after war. "It's a disgrace," Downing says. "You have served your country, you get damaged, and you come back and we don't take care of you. And we make you prove that you need our services." "And how do you prove it?" he continues, voice rising in anger. "You prove it by regularly failing until you end up in a system where you're identified as a person in crisis. That has shocked me." Even as the nation gains a much better understanding of the types of post-traumatic stress disorders suffered by so many thousands of veterans _ even as it learns the lessons of Vietnam and tries to learn the lessons of Iraq _ it is probably impossible to foretell a day when young American men and women come home from wars unscarred. At least as long as there are wars. But Driscoll, at least, sees an opportunity to do much better. He notes that the VA now has more than 200 veteran adjustment centers to help ease the transition back into society, and the existence of more than 900 VA-connected community clinics nationwide. "We're hopeful that five years down the road, you're not going to see the same problems you saw after the Vietnam War," he says. "If we as a nation do the right thing by these guys."

The New Pentagon Lie: "No Soldier Illnesses from Depleted Uranium"

Somebody should tell this so-called "expert in the field of Depleted Uranium" and Pentagon staffer, that he is not coming off very convincing in the recent article from Stars and Stripes.

The U.S. military has yet to discover a case of an American servicemember becoming ill due to its use of depleted uranium over the past few decades, a Pentagon official says. Dr. Michael Kilpatrick, deputy director of force health protection and readiness for the Pentagon’s department of health affairs, doesn’t rule out the possibility of that happening.

Is he paid to say this or to just cover everyone's ass? Later in the article he plainly states:

But Kilpatrick said the DOD has been monitoring 70 servicemembers who were heavily exposed to depleted uranium in the Gulf War — some still carrying small fragments of the substance in their bodies — and they haven’t developed illnesses linked to the substance. He said more than 2,000 U.S. servicemembers have been tested in recent years and only 10 were found to have traces of depleted uranium in their bodies. Most of those were exposed during the first days of the 2003 invasion of Iraq, when U.S. forces were battling enemies in tanks.

Let me reiterate: "10 were found to have traces of depleted uranium in their bodies." Did these troops ask for treatment for a sickness? Were they volunteers? What about servicemembers who have complained of different maladies but were told by the VA that it had nothing to do with DU?

This is just the tip of the iceberg. The Pentagon can temporarily try and cover their asses (and the bu$h administration) but like Agent Orange, in the coming years, Depleted Uranium will prove to be more costly in dollars but more importantly, human lives.

Here is some 2001 research that has surfaced from the Armed Forces Radiobiology Research Institute.

The Persian Gulf War resulted in injuries of US Coalition personnel by fragments of depleted uranium (DU). Fragments not immediately threatening the health of the individuals were allowed to remain in place, based on long-standing treatment protocols designed for other kinds of metal shrapnel injuries. However, questions were soon raised as to whether this approach is appropriate for a metal with the unique radiological and toxicological properties of DU. The Armed Forces Radiobiology Research Institute (AFRRI) is investigating health effects of embedded fragments of DU to determine whether current surgical fragment removal policies remain appropriate for this metal. These studies employ rodents implanted with DU pellets as well as cultured human cells exposed to DU compounds. Results indicate uranium from implanted DU fragments distributed to tissues far-removed from implantation sites, including bone, kidney, muscle, and liver. Despite levels of uranium in the kidney that were nephrotoxic after acute exposure, no histological or functional kidney toxicity was observed. However, results suggest the need for further studies of long-term health impact, since DU was found to be mutagenic, and it transformed human osteoblast cells to a tumorigenic phenotype. It also altered neurophysiological parameters in rat hippocampus, crossed the placental barrier, and entered fetal tissue. This report summarizes AFRRI's depleted uranium research to date.

If we have only scratched the surface of studying the effects of DU on these soldiers, one thing is certain: these Doctors aren't walking the same footsteps the troops have taken.

Joseph L. Galloway

Commentary: The Disgraceful Treatment of our Veterans As you do your holiday shopping this year and think about a big turkey dinner and piles of gifts and the good life that most Americans enjoy, please spare a thought for those who made it all possible: Those who serve in our military and the veterans who've worn the uniform. There are some new statistics that give us reason to be ashamed for the way that our country has treated those who've served and sacrificed for us. Those statistics damn the politicians who start every speech by thanking the troops and veterans and blessing them. They indict our national leaders who turn up at military bases and the annual conventions of veteran's organizations and use troops and veterans as a backdrop for their photo-ops. Consider this: * An average of 18 veterans commit suicide each and every day of the year, according to recent statistics from the Veterans Administration (VA). That’s 126 veterans who kill themselves every week. Or some 6,552 who take their own lives each year. Our veterans are killing themselves at twice the rate of other Americans. * One quarter of the homeless people in America are military veterans. That’s one in every four. Is that ragged man huddled on the steam grate in a brutal winter wind a Vietnam vet? Did that younger man panhandling for pocket change on the street corner fight in Kandahar or Fallujah? For the past four years, the Department of Veterans Affairs has been insisting that it’s doing everything it needs to for the nation’s veterans. That's simply not true, particularly when it comes to the VA's treatment of mental health issues. As my McClatchy colleague Chris Adams has reported in a series of groundbreaking stories this year, the VA mental health system — even by its own measures — wasn’t prepared to give returning veterans the mental health care they need. The experts say that between 20 and 30 percent of all troops returning from combat duty in Iraq and Afghanistan may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). But many of VA hospitals didn’t have the special PTSD programs that experts say are vital. Soldiers returning from Iraq are allowed to slip unnoticed into their old lives, and neither the Department of Defense nor the VA does anything to monitor their mental health. The VA keeps telling Congress that all is well. That's not true, either. As Adams reported, the VA has been using fudged or inflated numbers to do so. And after years of promising that it's getting a growing backlog of disability compensation applications under control, things actually got worse this year. No matter whether they've been wounded and need follow-up care and support, or whether they're coming apart at the seams and feeling suicidal, they sometimes must wait months for an appointment to be evaluated and treated at VA medical centers. The same people who don’t blink at spending $3 billion a week on their war of choice in Iraq were the ones who cut the VA budget and privatized maintenance at Walter Reed Army Hospital and opposed every attempt to expand benefits for veterans old and young. They're the same people who turned a blind eye as their corporate sponsors and private donors looted billions of dollars from the Treasury with no-compete contracts and bloated bills for everything from food for the troops to fuel for their tanks and trucks. As a wave of wounded troops suffering brain injuries from the blasts of roadside bombs and landmines poured into military hospitals, these people, posing as fiscally responsible budget makers, were cutting in half the money spent on research into brain injuries. These frauds who love to pose as wartime leaders sat back and did nothing as a cruel bureaucracy sent bill collectors out to harass double amputee veterans for thousands of dollars because they neglected to turn their armored vests and other gear in to the supply sergeant after they were blown apart on the battlefield. They did nothing as the Army became ever more conservative, even stingy, in the number of injured and wounded soldiers it judged worthy of full disability pensions. Soldiers who suffered brain injuries and PTSD so severe that they couldn't function were put on the street with a 30 percent disability pension — $700 a month — to support a wife and three children. Neglecting our war veterans and the widows and orphans that result from our wars is as American as apple pie. It’s nothing new. But in the past we always waited until after the war’s end to forget those who'd fought the war. This may be the first time in our history that we began to neglect and forget our troops during a war. All of this is shameful — shameful for a people whose freedom and prosperity rests on the backs of those soldiers but who've forgotten them so completely that they haven't held their Congress and their president responsible for this stain on our honor. The next smarmy politician who shouts, “God bless our troops” ought to be tarred and feathered and ridden out of Washington on a rail for sheer hypocrisy. - Joseph L. Galloway / McClatchy Newspapers

Veteran's vs Profits: The bu$h Nominee for Head of the Veteran's Administration

By Mark Benjamin at Salon, (my highlights):

President Bush late last month nominated retired Lt. Gen. James Peake to be the next secretary of the Department of Veterans Affairs. It is not an inconsequential wartime post: The department is the second-largest government agency after the Defense Department. And the VA faces the awesome responsibility of caring for several generations of veterans, including the crush of American service members back from Iraq and Afghanistan. On paper, Peake seems qualified. Wounded twice in Vietnam, he retired in 2004 from his post as Army surgeon general, the Army's top medical officer, with 40 years of experience in the field of military medicine. But Bush plucked Peake directly from a private company that has raked in hundreds of millions of dollars from contracts with the VA -- and Peake himself helped develop proposals for the company to contract with the VA. That has raised questions about conflict of interest, potentially pitting veterans' care against corporate profits. Moreover, if he is confirmed, Peake will be the second head of the VA under the Bush administration to come from that same private contractor, QTC Management Inc. Observers say QTC Management has performed high-quality work, and its former president, who also headed the VA under Bush, withstood past scrutiny by congressional investigators. But ever since Dick Cheney left Halliburton to become vice president, Bush administration critics have sounded the alarm about war profiteering seeping into the heart of the U.S. government. The changing leadership at the VA represents a little-known turn of the revolving door between contractors and the Bush administration. Veterans' advocates also worry that Peake's nomination suggests the White House may be interested in privatizing veterans' healthcare to an unhealthy degree. The Veterans Affairs Department runs more than a thousand hospitals and outpatient clinics to care for veterans, including the influx of hundreds of thousands of veterans who served in Iraq and Afghanistan and are now out of the military and want to see a VA doctor. Those veterans also seek disability checks as remuneration for their service-related ills. Every year the VA hands out over $40 billion in checks to veterans as compensation for everything from missing limbs to post-traumatic stress disorder. When a veteran first applies for that compensation, a doctor conducts a physical to help determine how much money he or she deserves. Historically, VA doctors do most of those examinations. But increasingly they are being performed by QTC Management, the for-profit contractor that employed Peake as its chief operating officer from 2006 until now. The company has a virtual lock on the expanding business of performing the physicals on veterans, which help determine how much they should get in disability checks from the VA. The company first started conducting the examinations in the late 1990s, part of a smaller effort to help the department alleviate a backlog of veterans awaiting benefits. This year the VA will farm out 100,000 to 150,000 of these examinations to QTC Management, according to the company's chairman. A 2005 report from the VA's inspector general says the company charges around $590 for each exam, making the contracts worth at least $88 million this year alone. The first VA chief selected by Bush to come directly from QTC Management was Anthony Principi, then president of the company, who served as VA secretary from 2001 until 2005. During those years, the company reportedly hauled in hundreds of millions of dollars conducting examinations for the VA. And now Principi is back at QTC Management again, serving as chairman of the board. (Before returning to QTC Management after serving at the VA, Principi did a stint at pharmaceutical giant Pfizer and was a commissioner on a panel studying the closure of military bases.) That the revolving door has come full circle in Principi's case deepens suspicions among veterans' advocates. "It is a little bit troublesome that a company may be a farm team for the VA," said Paul Rieckhoff, executive director of Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America. "I want to know why [Peake] and Principi both came from there," Rieckoff said. "I want to know how directly they are involved in VA contracts." Rieckoff also wondered: "If you are bringing people from the private sector, is that because you feel they are going to bring a greater level of efficiency -- or is it because you want to move toward privatizing care?" When a veteran walks in the door to see a doctor, the focus should be on the veteran and not the bottom line, said Paul Sullivan, executive director of Veterans for Common Sense, who until March 2006 was a project manager at the VA in charge of data on returning veterans. "The veteran absolutely must come first, and with QTC, profits come first and that is wrong," said Sullivan. "We do not want a Blackwater getting anywhere near our veterans," he said, referring to the notorious private security firm that operated with no clear accountability in Iraq. In a telephone interview with Salon, Principi, the former VA secretary and current QTC chairman, argued that the company is not providing healthcare, since the medical examinations conducted by his company help determine how much each veteran should get in disability payments. "I am personally and philosophically opposed to the privatization of VA healthcare," he told Salon. "QTC does no treatment," he said. "We do a medical disability evaluation. I distinguish that from the treatment and the care that VA provides." And Principi said he has gone to great lengths to minimize any perception of a conflict of interest in going from the company to the VA and then back again. He said he recused himself from any issues involving QTC Management while he was in charge of the VA. And although government ethics rules say he is allowed to contact the VA on business one year after leaving the government, Principi said he continues to steer clear. "I try to avoid an appearance of a conflict of interest. I have not stepped foot inside the VA on business-related matters since I was secretary," he said. "I have not engaged in any lobbying phone calls. I have not directly or indirectly tried to be involved in that." Principi said Peake, the former Army surgeon general, also did not engage in direct lobbying of the government to bring in cash for the company. However, Peake did help the company develop proposals to do work for the VA, Principi acknowledged. "Jim would have the team work on the proposal and make sure it was a good proposal and make sure all the i's were dotted and the t's were crossed, and that the technical proposal looked good, and it read well, and the pricing was good," Principi explained. "He didn't go lobby the VA or anything." (QTC Management may have had that ground covered without Peake: Disclosure records show QTC Management paid Jefferson Consulting Group, a lobbying firm, $20,000 in 2003.) Principi's behavior has been above board, according to a 2006 congressional investigation. In April 2006, the Los Angeles Times reported that the company collected $246 million from the VA while Principi was secretary, and that the company's contracts with the VA could eventually be worth $1 billion. The House Committee on Government Reform subsequently launched an investigation. California Rep. Henry Waxman, then the committee's ranking member, wrote the VA on June 9, 2006, that he was "satisfied that Secretary Principi's actions were proper and ethical." And QTC Management has performed well, according to Joseph Violante, national legislative director of Disabled American Veterans. "According to our service officers out in the field, they feel that QTC does a much better job than VA," he said. "They do more thorough exams and they do them properly." But the cross-pollination between the company and the VA still creates the perception of a conflict of interest and raises questions about proper government oversight, said Dina Rasor, author of "Betraying Our Troops: The Destructive Results of Privatizing War." Rasor said veterans worried about privatizing VA healthcare probably do have something to fear, since all of the Blackwater contractors careening around Baghdad in SUVs are a testament to the Bush administration's zeal for privatization, even while oversight and accountability are lacking. "This administration, besides the cronyism, they have this ideologue thing that government is bad and privatization is good," she explained. "They take it to the absurd." Rieckhoff, the veterans' advocate, said Congress needs to take a very close look at the Peake nomination. Congress should make sure the contracting issues are kosher and that privatization of veterans' healthcare is not looming on the horizon. "Those are all legitimate questions," he said. "This is the part of his record that I think really needs to be explored during these Senate confirmation hearings."