Here's a sample of your quality American news commentary brought to you by talk show host Glenn Beck:

You know Khalid Shaikh Mohammed has confessed to 9-11 and trying to kill President Carter. Why would you try to kill President Carter? He's on your side, for the love of Pete. No, he -- that hasn't been confirmed? We should check into it because I read it on a blog someplace. Why would you -- if Jimmy Carter's son could just be elected president, then all of us in talk radio could get on and say, "We're only going to war because Jimmy Carter's son wants to repay these people." "Daddy. They tried to kill Daddy."

Sorry, I probably should make that a Friday Fun item. But I find it too humorous even for that. Thank god for conservative talk shows, for without them the bell curve of American humor would be chopped off at the far right.