You know, I'm constantly on the Republican Congress' case about passing legislation that only benefits either themselves or the corporations and wealthy. Well, lo and behold, they've finally decided to pursue an issue that is of truly grave importance to U.S. citizens.

No, not ending the Iraq War. No, not the Bush Administration's illegal spying and data acquisition of citizens. No, not an all-out effort to capture Osama B.L. No, nothing about new legislation attempting to restrict greenhouse gas emissions. No, nothing about raising the minimum wage or pursuing universal health care or even reduced Medicare prescription drug prices. No, nothing about forcing the closure of all the illegal detention/torture centers the CIA/military has scattered throughout the world. No, nothing about reversing the recent anti-environmental actions of the Bush Administration. No, nothing about the unprecedented volumes of corruption driven by the unethical (if not illegal) relationships between lobbyists and politicians. No, nothing about subsidizing the development of non-fossil-fuel-based energy sources or technologies. And absolutely nothing about doing anything that might possibly improve the lives, health and safety of its non-wealthy citizens.

No, they've finally decided to spend their time debating legislation to stop the one thing that you and I fear the most, that runs rampant throughout our neighborhoods, that threatens every man, woman and child with its insidious, evil presence: flag burning. I've waited patiently for the Bushies to take up this cause, which is threatening to destroy America and make a mockery of free speech and patriotism.

After the flag-burning amendment is passed and added to our Constitution, I truly hope that the next issue Congress takes up is the one thing that scares the bejeebers out of me every time I step outside my front door, keeps my kids scared in bed every night, and is causing my relationship with my wife to become dangerously unstable and very near destruction: gay marriage. I can only pray that our politicians set everything else aside and direct all their energies to stopping this ruthless, evil and family-shattering entity.