Move along now, folks. There's nothing more to see here.

Secretary Rumsfeld Remarks on ABC "This Week with George Stephanopoulos", Sunday, March 30, 2003:

MR. STEPHANOPOULOS: Do you think we'll still be fighting in Iraq six months from now? SEC. RUMSFELD: Oh, goodness, you know, I've never -- we've never had a timetable. We've always said it could be days, weeks, or months and we don't know. And I don't think you need a timetable. What you really need to know is it's going to end and it's going to end with the Iraqi people liberated and that regime will be gone.

You know, sometimes, darn it, it just takes a little bit longer to finish the job, especially when you've decided to do the best job possible. I'm sure that any day now President Bush will tell us that the major fighting is finally over and that the Iraqis are liberated (oh, wait, I think he already did that about two years ago).

More importantly, we finally found all those weapons of mass destruction that Secretary of State Colin Powell so eloquently and explicitly described to us at the United Nations, those horrible, deadly weapons that the Iraqis were just so good at hiding from the inspectors. We found them, didn't we?

And last but not least, I'll bet that one of these days the Iraqis are going to finally get tired of throwing all those roses at the feet of our fightin' men. I'm sure that they're anxious to get back to their jobs and families and enjoy the new, better Iraq that our America has made for them.

We've liberated Iraq, folks. The Iraqis are happy and just love us to death. Now lets turn off the TVs and get on with our lives here in America.