Hilarious:

Neocon Riots Rock DC By ERIC KENNING Jul 20, 2004, 15:46 Large areas of the nation's capital were in ruins as violent protests continued for the third day against a bill that would revive the military draft, but only for neoconservatives. The bill, officially called the Bellicose Resources Deployment Act but informally known as the Roast Chickenhawk Initiative, would supplement the nation's dwindling supplies of mindless belligerence by drawing on inexhaustible deposits found in seething think tanks, frothing newspaper columns, fulminating talk-radio programs, frenzied Sunday morning television and publications owned by Australians. It would then be shipped to the Middle East, where it is urgently needed. The bill, explicitly requiring people who have never been in combat to serve in the wars they start, would affect thousands of neoconservatives in Washington and New York. It was strongly opposed by the Bush Administration on the grounds that it would leave most of the Administration's upper-level positions vacant, including the presidency and vice-presidency, but it was left unattended on President Bush's desk and he inadvertently signed it after deciding it looked too long and too hard to read first. As the riots surged through Washington, 1,427 rioters were arrested by District police, all of them from poorer neighborhoods in the city and backwoods areas of nearby states like Virginia, West Virginia and Maryland. The detained rioters said in their statements to the police that they had been recruited by roving committees of neoconservatives. They were promised up to $3 an hour for the rioting, to be paid out by Halliburton and other private contractors that have been awarded lucrative deals for providing mayhem logistics and infrastructure, with a secret Defense Department fund believed to be compensating the companies as much as $485 for each brick thrown and $17,000 for each Molotov cocktail. The neocons assured the hired rioters that they would be only too happy to join the rioting themselves, but they had "other priorities." Instead, they have volunteered to map rioting strategy and shout encouragement in the general direction of the rioters from their tables at their favorite expensive Washington-area restaurants, such as Forward Position in Chevy Chase, Foxhole in Bethesda and Sortie in Georgetown....