Good evening from *COUGH* *COUGH* beautiful Southern *COUGH* *COUGH* California. The skies were an eerie reddish brown all day, the sun a fuzzy orange, and large chunks of ash covered everything. The smoke is bad enough that very few people are out and about, except in their cars. And we're at least 30 miles from the nearest fire.

As usual around this time of year, people get pretty riled up about all those pesky brush fires, which just so happen to occur this time EVERY YEAR. Why? Because it's a natural part of the ecosystem here in So. Cal. Mix in zero rain from March through October (= dry brush and grass) + low humidity and hot winds (hello Santa Anas) + spontaneously combustible plants + sunlight, and you get fire.

Spontaneously combustible plants? Yep. There is a species of brush indigenous to So. Cal foothills and mountains that have seeds which burst into flames given the above conditions, part of this species' germination process. It's been happening for millions of years. It's nature's way of clearing out the old, overgrown vegetation.

Enter arrogant mankind, building with abandon all over the Southland. Until we totally concrete over the counties of San Diego, Los Angeles, San Bernardino, Riverside and Ventura, there will be brush fires every, and we mean every, year. It's guaranteed.

But wait, you say, some of the fires were started by arsonists. Well, sure, give a person of the combustion initiation persuasion the opportunity to run out to the foothills, toss a match into this 10-million acre tinderbox, and then run home to be entertained by the massive news coverage all weekend, how can they resist?

So let's not get too compassionate for the jerks who insist on buying homes in these fire-prone areas. They are either really stupid, or else insolent enough to think that it can't happen to them. The builders don't care; their motto will always be, you build it and they will come. All we know is, our insurance rates are higher because of their greed.

So stop being surprised at the smoke and fire every autumn in Los Angeles. It will not stop. And, look for those consequential mudslides coming up around February. It's guaranteed.